This is the study of male bonding. As a trans man, I was born in a female body and raised as a woman. Body language, intimacy and the silence that forms masculine relationships are behaviors I studied first for invisible survival and then, later, for connection. I found their rituals interesting, but it magnified a void.
I started recreating these coming of age moments to build the foundation I was lacking so that I could feel more connected to the men around me. Although some of cis male behavior is nature, much of it is how they are raised; taught that masculinity is founded in a lack of intimacy. Through this study, I found that a lot of platonic cis male intimacy happens over time, in the space between, in a quieter way. Within the process of shooting, I learned that not everyone had experienced these moments themselves, so in this way I was giving both myself and these cis men an experience for the first time.
We created an intimacy. These missing pieces in my quest to fully identify with and understand the cis men in my life became reality.